Success in any area of life isn’t just a result of high personal standards—it also depends on how we react when we fall short of those standards.

For example, let’s say you’ve set a goal of logging 10,000 steps a day, and that after a week of 10,000-step-days, you logged only 2,500 steps yesterday.

One response is to let yourself off the hook completely: “Well, I can’t hit 10,000 every day. No big deal.” This response is too lax—a serious goal deserves a serious commitment.

I started a new job last summer.

It’s great. The work is challenging, meaningful, and varied. It’s a leadership position, and I’m learning something new every day. I love it.

But the job is a lot busier than my last one. There are so many worthy projects, in fact, that I could probably log 60 hours a week and still have work left undone. That’s not an option—I have a family, and sacrificing family time for one’s career is a road to ruin. Yet, as I realized a few weeks into this job, a standard 40-hour week is often insufficient to accomplish my professional goals in this position.

One of the most damaging beliefs we can hold about those we disagree with is that their beliefs aren’t sincere—that they have some ulterior motive, that they’re not acting in good faith.

It’s easy to feel this way, especially in today’s hyper-polarized political climate. But the belief that others’ convictions aren’t genuine is a dangerous one. It turns good people into scheming villains and renders constructive disagreement impossible. It’s a dark, warped lens through which to view the world.

In my twenties, I listened to a lot of personal development seminars by speakers like Zig Ziglar, Tony Robbins, Brian Tracy, and the best of the best, Jim Rohn.

Each had a unique formula for designing a good life, but on certain points, they all seemed to agree:

• Take control of your attitude.
• Focus on what you can contribute, not what you're owed.
• Take the blame and give away the credit.
• Remember that success comes from doing the little things right, day after day after day.

And here’s my favorite, a career philosophy in one sentence: Always do more than you get paid for.

The other day at work, I spent an hour on an onerous task that comes up three times a year.

I’ll spare you the details, but it involves combing through several pages of data printouts, looking for certain patterns, and marking those patterns with either a green, yellow, or pink highlighter depending on a long list of criteria and my own professional judgment.

It’s not the slickest process in the world, but it’s actually fairly efficient. Yet I dread it, and for one reason only: It always takes me 15 minutes to remember all the patterns I’m supposed to be looking for in the data. This occurs for two reasons: