We all feel defeated sometimes.

In some area of life, you probably feel defeated right now. Even when everything’s going great, there’s usually some small corner of our world where we’re stymied.

When it seems like we’ve tried everything and nothing’s worked, we inevitably find ourselves bumping up against a decision:

Keep trying or give up?

Before deciding, here are a few questions to ask.

1. How could I state this problem in a single sentence?
2. Is this a minor problem or a major problem?
3. Did I officially decide to give up on this problem, or have I just stopped trying to solve it?
4. Is there truly nothing more I can do, or does it just feel that way right now?
5. If I abandon trying to solve this, what are the long-term consequences?
6. If I wanted to find a fresh approach to solving this problem, what could I do, what could I read, and whom could I ask?
7. Is this a problem that I’ll be better equipped to solve in six months? Five years?

There are three ultimate outcomes here: Decide to let go of trying to solve this problem, decide to tackle it in the future, or decide to attack it afresh.

I recently stumbled on a 1940 essay by Albert E.N. Gray entitled “The Common Denominator of Success”. Its thesis immediately caught my attention, and I’ve been ruminating on it for a few days now.

The common denominator of success—the secret of success of every man who has ever been successful—lies in the fact that he formed the habit of doing things that failures don’t like to do.

We spend a lot of time on this blog talking about becoming more efficient, making hard things easier, and finding the smoothest path to success. And these are worthwhile goals, but perhaps they’re not the goal. Gray explains why:

Every industry, every institution, every office has its own culture: a set of rules, attitudes, and expectations that govern behavior. For me, the importance of culture is brought into sharp relief every year around this time as ~1,350 new college freshman learn to navigate the university where I work (with varying levels of success).

A few aspects of university culture:

• Faculty expect to be treated with respect, and in some cases, a little deference.
• Many important offices have weird names, like the Bursar’s office and Registrar’s office. Students will need their help at some point, so they need to know what those offices do.
• Universities run on rules, forms, and deadlines, and there’s no way around them. Except when there is: through an appeals process, filling out an obscure form, or just talking to the right person.

Some first-year students start to get it right away. I’m in unfamiliar territory, and I need to learn the rules here. Some take longer to get it. Some don’t even know there’s anything to get.

Our goal today is to lower the barrier to doing things that are necessary but unpleasant. And we’re going to use a simple, familiar tool.

Most of us have a morning routine (whether we designed it intentionally or not). On weekday mornings, we tend to do the same things in more-or-less the same order, and having even a loose plan makes the start of the day a whole lot easier. It would be pretty stressful (not to mention inefficient) to approach each morning with no idea what order to do things in. Instead, we follow a process: Get out of bed, let out dog, make coffee, etc.

A few weeks ago, I realized how much I pull out my smartphone when I’m momentarily bored. I do it unconsciously, before I even notice what’s happening. Not only that, but I often find myself on the couch in the late evening reading news articles on my phone.

Realizing that I’m wasting a significant chunk of time each day (and not even really enjoying it), I looked for an app to help. I found a free iOS app called Moment that promised to track my daily smartphone use (there’s a similar Android app called Quality Time).