When we’re facing a tough problem, it can feel we’re on our own. I’ve certainly felt that way. But there’s always someone who can help, and most people like to help others. Helping feels good—it’s a deeply meaningful experience.
Yes, people like to help. But everyone is busy, and the most helpful people are often busier than most. The key to getting help is making it easy for people to help you. Here’s an example.
Yesterday started off as a very unproductive day for me.
There was no obvious cause. I’d time-blocked my day as I always do, but I found myself unable to focus on even the simplest task, let alone anything particularly challenging or important.
Who knows why. I hadn’t slept well the night before, and I’m just coming out of a weeklong illness—either issue could be to blame. But regardless of the cause, as lunchtime approached it became clear that I wouldn’t be able to finish everything I’d planned to do that morning.
Each branch of the US military maintains a reading list: a list of books that are considered recommended or required reading for service members in that branch.
Unsurprisingly, these lists lean heavily toward military history and leadership development, and their contents aren’t that important for our purposes. What I want to discuss is the larger concept of a professional reading list and why it might be worth our attention.
Why does the military do this? Why does each branch bother to publish and maintain a list of recommended books? I see three primary benefits.
When I’m drowning in email—which happens most weekdays—I write out the following on my daily plan:
☐ Process office email (5)
This means I’m going to read the 5 oldest emails in my inbox and either reply or archive each one, extracting any tasks along the way. Each email successfully processed earns me a little hash mark, and then I get to check the whole thing off:
☑ Process office email (5) ||||
A major trait of highly effective people is a posture of intentionality—of living one’s life in alignment with one’s deepest values. Happy, productive people tend to know what they’re about, and they spend their time and energy on those things that are important to them. Consciously choosing how to live has at least two major benefits.
The first is self-evident: when we make progress in areas that are important to us, we feel fulfilled. The second major benefit of intentional living is a little less obvious: a sense of control. Psychology, philosophy, and common sense all tell us that human beings crave control over their own lives. When we believe we’re the captain of our own ship, we’re happier and more effective. And when we start to make more decisions about how we’re going to live, we feel like we’re in control. Because we are.